I've been
panicked. Over the course of the last month- at the mention of Brazil's name- my stomach would turn and heart would race... in a bad way. It wasn't because I was excited and stoked to see him, but because I was n
ervous and apprehensive. I would have been ever so grateful to get a call from his mom that said that he had extended and wouldn't be home for another couple weeks. I felt like I was unprepared and I was scared. I have a lot going on lately with school (aka biology), ambassadors, institute council, work, my social life, (when I have the time for one) and Brazil. There are so many
question marks.. when he gets released am I his girlfriend right then?? Do I want to attach that fast? But I don't want to wait too long!! What is he thinking? What's it like to have a boyfriend??
because I don't remember! What if "it's" not there anymore? How would I deal? but what if it is there? Long distance relationship and the thought of
marriage looming somewhere in the near future.. BAH! I was at the brink of what I could handle last week.
I was on the phone with Brazil's mom and she was giving me the tentative schedule for the day he got home. She told me he'd be released at 7:2opm and yada yada yada. After that conversation everything changed. I have no idea why, but I just realized that no matter how hard I drag my feet and complain about how busy that week is going to be (by the way the week he comes home is probably the busiest week of my whole semester-- of course!) and no matter how unprepared I am mentally, spiritually, and physically the reality is that he is coming home. HE IS COMING HOME! and I've just got to roll with the punches! Lately when people ask.. it's a positive feeling that I get. I'm excited. I want to see him. I want to give him a huge hug and then the two of us will take it day by day after that because there is no use in worrying about what I don't know.. right??!
So this week I'm probably going to post a little more often than usual and hopefully you'll check often to keep updated!
9 days --- and counting ;)
6 comments:
YAY! nine days. Thats freakin crazy! Whatever is suppose to happen will. Love ya!
I agree.. whatever happens will happen. As long as you include the Lord in whatever you do you can't be led astray! Good luck :)
I realized you were stressing really bad- I am glad/hopeful you are more peaceful now. I talked with my sis- and even with as much communication as she and Aaron did (NAUGHTY), she was beyond stressed and lost a ton of weight. Totally normal from everyone I have ever talked to. It will all be fine, especially once the first moments are behind you. Not that he won't be weird- but most likely not any weirder than usual. :)
Have a peaceful week- you are both (as usual) in my prayers.
Oh- and we did that set apart thing two years ago and I am not wanting to go back there- His release interview is what is on the schedule.
Love ya!
ha ha oops! I'll correct that--
and I hope that I lose weight over this like Amy! That is in my physical unpreparedness category ha ha
Oh- by the way, number one- how is your job? are you liking it? and number two- I am glad the blubber post is not at the top anymore :) makes me less self-concious to come over here --- he he he-- had a nice shopping trip this weekend and good visit with Sam-
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