I LOVE Apostles and Drugs

Pretty much this week has been zero fun. I've been SUPER frustrated and confused about what I'm supposed to be doing with my life, where I'm going to live, if I'm going to work, go to school, or serve a mission.. I think my emotions were portrayed nicely in my last post :)


Thursday night Samson invited me up to Sundance to go to a special viewing of the play Big River, which is the story of Huckleberry Finn- It was BEAUTIFUL up there. The reason we were invited to a special showing was because UVU was helping to put on the production, so the some students and staff were invited to come. Well when Samson and I arrived we were going to get on the shuttle that took us down to the amphitheater and guess who was sitting on the bench??

Elder Jeffrey R Holland :D His son Pres. Holland is the current President of UVU so he was up supporting the arts and his son, so we OBVIOUSLY said hello.. Then we went to the play and it was great. It was such a beautiful setting I have NO idea why I didn't pull out my camera and take pictures of the set or the surroundings, but we were in a hurry and kinda totally spaced it...
After it was over Samson and I got into the car and Elder Holland was like 3 cars down from us! So we followed him down the mountain until he pulled over to pick up his family and that was when I stole this shot of the minivan--- He drove it was a Silver Kia Sedona and it had Nevada license plates-- bizarre right? lol Samson and I laughed at being semi stalkerish... but think how crazy it would be to be a celebrity only to a certain culture. He was SWARMED during intermission and everyone was saying hello to him, but if he were in NYC at a broadway play he probably wouldn't have even gotten a second glance from anyone-- but just seeing him brightened my day and gave me some hope. Thanks Samson for the much needed get-a-way.

When I got home I scarfed down some food because I could only eat until midnight because I was getting my wisdom teeth out and I had to have an empty stomach for anesthesia-- So I ate some food and went to bed.

I had an interview with a bank at 9 (which went REALLY well) and then my appointment was at 11. My mom drove up to be my chauffeur-- I will not lie I was in NO way excited about the whole idea of fat cheeks, pain, and eating mush, so I sat in the waiting room less than enthusiastic. I have never had surgery before. I've given blood, but that's the closest to an IV I've ever had, so I was super skeptical... but honestly it was FABULOUS! The donation needle could EAT the IV needle for breakfast-- it was tiny! He injected a bunch of cold liquids that I could feel go through my veins and then I was a goner. I woke up and I was happy as a clam! I wasn't weird or moany groany groggy like some of the other patients I could hear. They gave me some instructions and then we were out--

I got in the car, reclined the seat and put on some ice bags-- I sent this pic to some of my family, but I promise I was trying to smile lol I look pretty pathetic.. we went and got a milkshake and holy cow I downed it-- My tongue was like a piece of cork board it was SO dry and nasty so the cold shake felt great... then I took a Lortab and we started the drive to RootTown. As we drove I SWEAR my mom said "Oh crap we forgot to take out the gauze for an hour so that the clots could form.." When I heard that I was thinking SWEET-- because with the gauze in I couldn't close my mouth and my tongue kept drying out, so I took out the gauze, closed my mouth and went to sleep. I WOKE UP 30 minutes later in PAIN. My whole mouth was bloody and my jaw was hurting bad. I turned to my mom and said

Eww Mom look..
-Yuck you need to change your gauze..
I don't have any in!
-WHAT??
You said to take it out for an hour!
-No, I said we didn't leave it in for a full hour.. you know-- before you had your milkshake

... drugs will do that to you I guess lol

So I took another Lortab, swished out my mouth and put in more gauze. Ya at that point I was no longer smiling. PS those aren't swollen cheeks, I just have gauze in them.


These are my teeth. I had all four, The big ones are the bottom teeth and then he had to crack the top ones, but I honestly don't feel bad. I've taken all my medicine when I've needed to, when I fall asleep I go into a coma it feels like, and I was able to eat some lasagna for dinner! I am a little swollen today, but I showered and feel pretty good.

Kaylen philosophy:

Apostles are like drugs- they make make you feel good inside ;)

today has been a long day--

where am i now: the wilk in provo

what am i doing: scoping craigslist for jobs and apartments

why: hoping that some random person will come up to me and say,

"Hi, I'm ______ and i think you should go on a mission, but until then come and work for me!"

or

"Hello Kaylen, I knew you in the pre-existence and need you to come to BYU and be my roommate?"

bah ha ha even if something like that did happen i'd probably freak out, because it would be so weird, but i am tired of choosing and debating-- oh well such is life right??

Another Turn

Man I won't lie I'm sick of thinking of ways to phrase these kinds of posts.

But I guess I'll start by saying it's back to square one for me--

I don't know why things like this keep happening... I mean honestly to not be with Brazil was hard enough to do, but then to be engaged to KJo and then have the Lord send me another way is ROUGH.

I don't know why it had to happen. I don't know why we had to be as far as we were before having these feelings. I don't know why for the 2nd time in my life he's gotten a YES and, though this time it came later than anticipated, I got a NO.

Up until last week I would pray about KJo and the only feelings that I felt were to just keep going-- and I was a little worried because we were all of the sudden finding a KILLER deal on a ring, then proposal, then finding a place to live-- the blessings just kept coming. Deep down I was a little worried, but still my answer was to be patient and move forward. One of my amazing mentors told me "Kaylen, if the only reason that you're kneeling across that alter in the temple is because you've yet to get a NO, then you go and have faith that the Lord will care for you and won't leave you alone on this most important decision." So that was when I decided to go forward and not look back unless otherwise prompted.

I hoped that 'otherwise prompted' would never come, but it did. Monday. and I knew exactly what was going to happen.

The only thing that I can say coming out of this is that I KNOW that I have a Father in Heaven that truly loves me and watches out for me. I know that there is a plan for me-- a plan of happiness and though this plan is 1,000% different than the plan I made for myself I know that God's will make me more happy than I ever could. Our relationship progressed quickly and a lot of things fell into place for us. I saw them as evidence that we should be together, but looking back I know that for some reason we needed to get to this point in our relationship-- and now that we're here we've done whatever it was that we needed to do. Our time together is over.

I don't know what's on my agenda now. I'm hoping that since my heart has felt this before that maybe it will remember how to mend itself more quickly and less painfully -- but I'm not holding my breath.

This weekend I'll be in Idaho at our ranch and our family reunion couldn't come at a better time. I love my family with all my heart and truly cant wait to see them. After that I get wisdom teeth out on the 30th-- aka zero fun. So I guess the task now is just to figure out Where I'm going and What I'm doing.

Love Kaylen

I guess that this means the search continues.

Our First Road Trip

For the fourth of July I went with KJo's family to Bryce Canyon!

It was our very first road trip together and we went equipped with a map of Utah and some "bird seed" (aka a random assortment of snacks) both provided by his mom and dad

(this is what we would've looked like if we were back in the 1850's ;)

So pretty much we hiked, took pictures, and ate. It was a perfect vacation! His sister was in town with her husband and little daughter from Virginia, so it was a ton of fun to meet and spend time with them...

please tell me if that is not the cutest face you've ever seen.. She is the chubbiest baby EVER and I won't lie I squeezed her all weekend. I also, on multiple occasions, made KJo promise me chubby babies lol I wanted to steal her.

like I said.. a lot of hiking, but the scenery was beautiful.

Then fireworks Sunday night.

Well I realize that this post is super lame, but I'm at that stage where I have a million things to do and I start like 5 things at a time, but never really finish any of them. So I have a ton of things that I should be doing instead of blogging, but I mustn't neglect my blog for the next 3 months, so I'll try to post as much as I can..

In wedding news:

1. I bought my dress :D this is the only sneak peek you'll see till I do my Bridal/Groomals because KJo has yet to see it, but that is my sweet hair thingy I'm going to wear!! Exciting!
2. We found a place to live! KJo's uncle has a little house in Provo that he is currently renting to KJo's cousin.. but they're going to Law school so he said he'd rent it to us for like $550 a month! plus utilities.. but we get a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom house with a 2 car garage, dishwasher, and washer/dryer. All we have to do is mow the lawn. WE ARE SO BLESSED! Wow. What a relief to have that figured out.
3. Samson is going to do my photography.. could not be more excited :D

Speaking of KJo----it's officially his birthday as of 50 minutes ago! He's 23 today--

and did I mention I love him?? :D Happy Birthday Love!